I ain't tryin' to be like that
I ain't tryin' to be like that
I ain't tryin' to be like that
I ain't tryin' to be like that
Shit is reminiscent
To what I listened to
Felt the blues back then
Now black and blue
From the muse
Bruised from the years that came and went
Only to keep the ruse
Slowly turn to pitch the tune
Back to what it used to be like
What it felt like
A moment that I can't relive
Adolescent mind
Finding joy in playing Pick-Up Sticks
Punting cans across the alley-way
Like a corner kick
To hear the crowd roar for this kid
And yo, I never quit but,
I wish the days were simple
Like they used to be
Guess that thought is simple but
I'm talking honestly
And honesty ain't hard to come by when you're living solemnly
But even so
A solemn look can overtake the quality of
Any joyous moment
'Cause that's how life works
Ups and downs
Weights on my shoulder
Push me to the ground
Baggage under my eyes
After every year that comes around
And I can't help but feel helpless, jaded, and run-down but
I ain't tryin' to be like that
I ain't tryin' to be like that
I ain't tryin' to be like that
I ain't tryin' to be like that
Felt that things were off
3 homies lost in year
Wasn't clear why it all had to happen
Even chopped it up with my boy the night before his last breathe
Talking about his mind state and past regrets
What could I've done differently to change the outcome
A domino effect that made his game into a zero-sum
Got that phone call during a work day from his mom
Bout her son who left to float to heaven
Left us feeling lost
Pain is gone but sadness remains
Time moved forward but shit, ain't nothing the same
It ain't as bad trudging forward though
Playing this game
Sometimes the more that you lose
The more that you can gain
Like a heartbreak placing me in a mirror's frame
Insecure, self-esteem was low, feeling ashamed
There wasn't anyone to blame for my toxic traits
So from that point on forward
I kept repeating the phrase
